Social Parade

The word ‘Parade’ used here should not be confused with those parade which we usually observe in certain big ceremonies or any other big events. The Parade which I am talking about has been commonly observed in most of the homes where the girls have to hold the tray and entered the drawing room to encounter strange faces. Sound very odd to some people or I would say too many people but this is still a true reality which happens even in this present time. The question here comes how am I so sure about this whole affair? So let me clear that I have also experienced this whole parade system even though how much bizarre it seem to be! Literally ‘Parade’ means display or procession of things but here it is used for girls who are victimized to these drawing room display culture. In simple words, it is associated with matrimony.

It has become norm in our society, some also associated with our culture. I am not against or favor of it, what I find very absurd that the way girls are being showcased in front of people which is really disgraceful! It is said that it is all fate, Almighty Allah send two people in this world and when there is right time right place, Allah will make them meet. Once I heard from some old lady that ‘Finding soul-mate is just like finding home without any address.’ The phenomenon of finding soul-mate initiated way back when the world came into existence. It is not something new.

Here in this case which I am talking about, there is a simple procedure to be followed. Firstly, mothers of these daughters start expanding their contact with aunts either in relatives or in their neighbors who is very much known to help in finding suitable grooms for their daughters where as now-a-days it has been shifted to the marriage bureau centers where you have to registered and pay the initial amount of registration which ranges from Rs.500-3000 or more than this. These marriage bureaus give your number to the candidates of groom families according to the information written on the registration paper although mostly it is quite opposite what u mentioned. Then a phone call come to the mother of female candidate where the information are exchanged mostly they ask what is color of girl, her height and then comes her qualification if they find match able they shows interest to come and meet the girl personally. Now here the fun part start, this girl is being told by her mother that some guests are coming to see her and she has been informed on same day of their arrival. Although not willing but you have to be submissive in front of your mother’s order or they try to mollify you by using these cliché lines for instance Beta apni ammi ki baat mano mein akeli maa nahi subhi maayein krti hain (Listen to your mother and I am not alone in this every mother does the same even they also do not like it). Then comes the cleaning of the house, every nook and corner of the drawing room is dusted and cleaned, snacks are cooked in the homes or bought from the bakeries and sometimes soft drinks or juices are only served. Your mother takes out the nice outfit from your closet and tells you to wear it even though clothes which you are wearing at that time also look pretty well.

Then comes the final part ‘Parade time’, guests have arrived and they have been ensconced in the drawing room. You are being told to come in the drawing room so you geared yourself and start doing left right from your room to drawing room and seated yourself on one side after which you are bombarded with different sort of questions. These queries vary, for instance, some ask what have you studied so far or what is your future aim and so on related to career. Some are concern that is you aware of all the household chores and some are there to just see a glimpse of a girl.

These guests not only comprise of parents but often they will be accompanied with whole family like sisters, brothers even their relatives like khala, chachis in their first meeting. Some guests are so finicky that you just get annoyed but since they are your guests, you have to be humble with them. Then there are those funny guests you come across that in their first meeting, they roam around your whole home without your permission which seem like they are probing your home. After all this, they go and then disappear in the thin air.

I do not comprehend the concept of going to several houses on same particular day to see all the female candidates, it is like you are going for shopping and reaching out to different shops to find one suitable article for you. It is so demeaning! Even if you are going to different shops, it confounds you so how come going to different houses on same day will not be difficult for you to choose? Then comes the demand section which is so high, they want the girl to be perfect in all departments from look wise to her qualification to household chores and yes! the main ‘age factor’. Much significance given to those candidates who are in the field of medical, engineer or having glamorous degree and in all this they wonder to have a young age girl.

Many people might think that I am very bigotry which I am fine with it but by discussing with many other girls who had or have gone through all this tiresome experience, according to them it is undignified toward girls. Some people say that if guys demand so do girls also, my question to them why not? If guys can demand so do girls have the right to demand for their future grooms? Mostly girls go for education if they are highly qualified, secondly must be working which means financially secure and thirdly looks compatible with her.

I once was watching an Indian soap where it was showing the whole culture of Hindu tradition of marriages and by that I realize that the culture followed in Pakistan from drawing room display to some of the rituals of wedding, a lot of resemblance could be evidently seen.
It is very true that soul-mates are made before we are born in this world but the culture followed in Pakistan is inappropriate.

I strongly condemn the drawing room display culture. Most of the people will show incredulity towards this particular subject and will be saying it does not happen now but even in 21st century this is happening only problem is that we do not care or take it casual. Many girls have gone through this and many are still facing. It is a custom to be stigmatized but unfortunately in our society, no one pay much heed for its consequence.